2024 Dec 24

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Title:

5.Daughters of Another Path

 

JOURNEYS THE MUSLIM PATH

Living and Practicing Islamic Principles

 

I thought the ache and hurt of that Thanksgiving weekend encounter would never pass, but we were all determined to work it through. The next time Jodi came to visit, we spent time sewing together. That was something we had loved to do from the time she was little. As we sewed, we talked. There was so much for me to learn about what Jodi had chosen.

"Mom, I brought you some tapes to listen to so you will understand more about what Islam is all about. Really, Mom, there is a lot in common with Christianity. I feel more like I can live as you raised me to live than I did before."

Yes, she probably was right about that part since our church had some expectations that were difficult for youth to live up to in society. But Islam similar to Christianity? Well, that would be hard to prove to me. It all had caused so much trouble politically and had such strange ideas. However, I was open to learning. What other choice did I have if I wanted a relationship with my daughter?

It took almost a year and a half to accept and support Jodi in the life she had chosen. I saw her so disciplined in her religion, so wanting to serve God and others around her, as strong as she wore the strange clothing with head cover to classes on the campus. And yet, she was still our Jodi who loved us, who loved to talk and be with people, who struggled to keep up with her studies, who wanted to be a nurse-and was doing it.

My friends helped me by their acceptance. I found that just sitting and crying after reading a poem or article or being in Jodi's old room was healing. I placed her in God's hands as I prayed, and no doubt there were many praying for me. I also had to help other members of the family who felt rejected. But the healing was taking place. We were a family who didn't like conflict; we wanted to love and to be accepting. We also wanted to be open to the world around us, so we began to learn about what our daughter had embraced.

***

Jihad is a word that has become familiar to many non-Muslims because the media has often associated it with terrorist activities. Dr. Jamila Kolocotronis, an American-born convert to Islam, in her doctoral dissertation, explored this Islamic concept, which came out of the Arabic language, meaning struggle or exertion. In the time of Muhammad, it took on new meaning as this young new religion began its growth. In her book, Islamic Jihad: An Historical Perspective, Dr. Kolocotronis states:

Now it took on the meaning of "struggle in the cause of Allah." After the period of Muhammad, historians began to translate jihad as "holy war," but this definition does not account for the full meaning of the term. Jihad should always be defined as struggle in the "Cause of Allah," for this definition alone encompasses all the nuances of the term.'

In this sense, any activity related to Islamic practice may be a struggle such as waking up for the dawn prayer if one is not an early riser. Negative connotations of jihad have developed for Westerners as radical groups (representing a small minority of people) have used the term extensively.

During the time of Muhammad, this term was applied individually, especially in the first few years as Muslim converts joined the small movement and struggled to leave the old traditions and way of life and, in spite of family members and other difficulties, take on what they had come to believe. Their personal existence was jihad as they struggled in the cause of Allah. American women who have chosen Islam are in that struggle themselves as they leave old traditions and live out their new beliefs.

Islam is an unknown to most of us. Even though we may have read a book on Islam or Muslims, studied it in a class at church, or had a unit on it at school, the content didn't have much meaning or really stay with us. Now, however, there is a walking, talking loved one who has become Muslim. Now we need to find out about that which is so important to her, to understand the journey she is on.

Islam is the name of the religion. It is an Arabic word that means "acceptance of God as Supreme" and calls for submission to the One God. The literal meaning of the word is peace-to live in peace with the Creator, within one's self, and with other people.

The followers of Islam are called Muslim. They do not like to be referred to as Muhammadans or Islamites or Islams. The people are called Muslims.

Muslims believe that Muhammad was chosen by God to be a prophet to receive God's message from the angel Gabriel. This was in Mecca in the Arabian Peninsula in the seventh century. The Qur'an (or Koran) is the book of the divine messages that came through Muhammad over a period of twenty-three years. Muslims believe that the Qur'an contains the literal and final word of God to the world.

In review, the religion is Islam, the people are Muslims, the prophet is Muhammad, and their sacred book of God's revelations through Muhammad is the Qur'an.

Articles of Faith

Three fundamental beliefs are the basis of the Islamic faith: the oneness of God, prophet hood, and life after death the oneness of God is the foundation of their faith. Allah is the one and only God. The word Allah literally means "The God" and has no masculine, feminine, or plural form; thus Allah is elevated to the highest being. Allah is the creator of all human beings. The Muslims believe that Allah is the God of the Christians, Jews, Muslims, and others. To put anything or anyone as equal to Allah is considered blasphemous. This Unity of Allah is called Tawhid, and establishes the oneness of God. Islam rejects the Christian notion of the Trinity-Father, Son, and Holy Spirit-giving no divinity to Jesus. But they do regard Jesus as a revered prophet and messenger of God.

The second article of faith is that God has provided guidance for living through such prophets as Adam, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Solomon, and David-some of the Old Testament prophets; John and Jesus of the New Testament; and Muhammad as the last and final prophet bringing Allah's final and literal word to humankind. As Muslims say or write each prophet's name, they say "Peace be upon him" or write (pbuh) after the name. They consider Christians; Jews, and Muslims to be people of "the book" and feel kinship through the prophets.

Prophet Muhammad is revered (not worshipped as divine) as God's messenger, and Jesus also is accepted as a messenger of God's word. Even though Muslims and Christians disagree about the divinity of Jesus, they do agree on many ideas about morality, life after death, and the Day of Judgment. The Qur'an teaches that adultery, murder, lying, stealing, and cheating are wrong.

Life after death is the third fundamental belief in Islam. Both belief and action are important in this life. They believe in a day of judgment in which we will be held accountable before God for our conduct. It is important that in each action there is consideration given to whether or not it is in accordance with what God has commanded.

 

The Five Pillars of Islam

There are five major tenets (pillars) in Islam that a Muslim is expected to follow. The first pillar is to declare Shahada as the statement of conversion: "There is only one God [Allah] and Muhammad is the Messenger of God." The other four are the practical obligations of daily prayer, fasting at Ramadan, paying the annual "welfare money" to be distributed among the poor (often done in connection with Ramadan), and making the pilgrimage to Mecca.

In embracing Islam, the converts declare Shahada by repeating in Arabic that they bear witness to no other deity but Allah and that Muhammad is a prophet of Allah. They also take on a way of life that has many requirements and obligations as they set their course on the "straight path." Although such practices seem to require great effort, responses to the questionnaire indicated that, overall, the women were delighted with the opportunity to have these disciplines in their lives. Some of the women respondents found fasting to be easy while others found it extremely difficult at first. Many of the women were able to slip regularly into the schedule of the five obligatory prayers each day while others had to work hard at getting into that routine. Wearing the scarf was a blessing and no problem for some; others took years to get to the point of wearing a scarf at all the required times.

The women received help in finding how to live an Islamic lifestyle from several sources. Their husbands were a strong support. They taught and directed their wives in the practice of Islam, and in the process reestablished their own faith practice. Books, videos, and audiotapes explained techniques on how to do things. Many found help from other Muslim women who were either American-born converts or were women born into Islam.

* Since I was introduced to Islam by my husband, it was easier for me to learn to live as Muslim by observing his daily example and that of some of his friends. As for specific religious practices, he tried to teach me to pray and explained how to fast and perform ablutions, but it was my sister-in-law, who became like a sister to me during our stay in Morocco and who had just started wearing hijab a few months earlier, who helped me perfect my worship and gave me the confidence and enthusiasm to begin praying five times a day.

The first time I fasted, I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to bear it, never having gone even a short time without food. My husband explained the importance and significance of fasting, but said I didn't have to if I absolutely couldn't stand it, since Allah never requires more of us than we can bear. His moderation helped me through it, and since then I have always fasted whenever required.

The five daily prayers are probably the most difficult, since our American lifestyle often doesn't allow for them to be performed at their proper times. Sometimes time gets the best of me, but I never stop praying, even if I miss some [of the prayer times]. It may not seem like much, but the small act of prayer is what keeps Allah in my heart and mind at all times.

In each instance the women surveyed expressed the blessings and peace and satisfaction brought to their lives by the discipline required to change their lives, to focus their actions and will toward Allah.

The second of the Five Pillars of Islam is the performance of the five daily prayers (Salat) that are required of all Muslims. These prayers are repeated in Arabic and have certain movements and positions for various parts. The prayers must be preceded by ablution or clean sing oneself (wudu) with water by washing of the hands up to the wrist, washing the face and head, and washing the feet up to the ankle. Women wear a special prayer covering. The person must face in a predetermined direction (toward Mecca), which symbolizes Muslim unity.

There is a prescribed schedule for when to offer these obligatory prayers: early morning before sunrise, at noon or shortly thereafter, in the late afternoon, after sunset, and about an hour later. The prayers last about five minutes each. Women are not required to pray when they are menstruating. Muslims are free, of course, to offer their own personal prayers at any time and any place and encouraged to combine them with the obligatory prayer times. Muslims almost universally leave their shoes at the door as they enter a home or mosque in order to keep the rugs clean for prayer.

* Praying five times a day was a big commitment for me. When my husband told me a few minutes after I converted that I had to pray, I was very hesitant to do it. I wasn't used to being actively involved in my religion. But once I started, I didn't want to stop.

* The change to Islam has helped me be more grounded, more relaxed, more focused. You can't stray too far when the next prayer pulls you back. It has certainly had a positive effect on our marriage and family life, and helped me to be a better and calmer mate and mother.

The most meaningful part of Islam for me is the internal process-the prayers and the other reading and spiritual work that is ongoing in my own life for my 'own spiritual development. Being able to stop a few seconds and surrender everything that is going on to Allah for guidance is a major blessing.

* Praying according to Salat (ritual prayer) times is the hardest. I'm still not in tune to clocks.

* Learning the formal ceremony of the ritual cleansing (wudu) and the prayer itself was easy. My husband wrote the words of the prayer on a sheet of paper and added a sketch showing the movements of standing, bowing, and prostrating. I memorized the words of the prayer in just one day, but it took perhaps a week of practice to make sure that I was performing the movements correctly at the right time. I enjoyed the ritual cleansing, putting on my prayer garments, and performing the prayers because I felt I was coming closer to my Creator. I wanted to display my devotion and thankfulness for all that he had given me.

The prayers are recited in Arabic and everyone is encouraged to learn Arabic so they can read the Qur'an in the original text. Children in Islamic schools are taught Arabic.

* I am still learning to live as a Muslim. I ask a lot of questions and read. My mother-in-law sent me a book on prayer, and I memorized the Arabic by myself. Wearing the head cover and [learning] rituals concerning prayer and clean/unclean have been hard. I watched a lot of Islamic videos and took extensive notes and attended debates.

* The hardest part is praying. I do it phonetically in Arabic, and I'm afraid I'm pronouncing it wrong and that my prayers won't be accepted as a result. But I know that as long as I try and have good intentions, God will understand. Praying in Arabic and not knowing the Qur'an and hadith [an authoritative source of Islamic practice] like1 should have been the hardest parts for me.

* I learned to live as a Muslim mostly through my own reading and research. My husband wrote out the prayers for me in Arabic--which 1read-afterI had learned them in English. I am just beginning to learn sections of the Qur'an in Arabic-I can't read the fancy calligraphy of Arabic, so I have to rely on having them read and said to me. I regard myself as still studying basic Islam.

It has been quite difficult, actually, incorporating all the religious practices I feel are important, but quite satisfying once I have managed it.

The third pillar of Islam is fasting (Siyam) and is observed for the month of Ramadan, the name of the ninth month in the lunar year of the Muslim calendar. It is a sacred month for Muslims and combines fasting, prayer, and charity.

Fasting during the month of Ramadan is a religious obligation. During this time a Muslim can eat food before day break but is to remain without food or water or intimate sexual activities from dawn to sunset each day during the entire month. Exceptions to required fasting would be for children, the elderly, the sick, travelers, pregnant women, women who have difficulty with breastfeeding, and women in menstruation. Adults should make up their missed fasts at another time after Ramadan when their situation is better. Often the breaking of the fast at sunset is done in community with other Muslims.

The last day of the fast is called Eid al-Fitr and is a major celebration time with gifts, special foods, sending of cards, and worship. The women come to love Ramadan even though the discipline of fasting is difficult at first. It is also a time when community bonds with other Muslims are strengthened as well as a time for individual spiritual growth. Sometimes there is frustration in practicing it in non-Muslim countries.

* My first Ramadan was one to remember. It was just shy of six months after my Shahada. It was easier than I thought it would be -although it was still a struggle. To be honest I broke my fast three times early in the day, my first Ramadan. It is something that takes total religious commitment and a sound mind.

* Fasting once a year for a whole month was difficult at first, but the more I learned about why we fasted and what it did for us, the easier it became.

* Fasting during the holy month of Ramadan was the hardest practice I have encountered. Before my first fast, I was worried that I would not be able to do it and that I would fail this challenge. Of course I was able to do it because fasting is easy when you are doing it for God.

A few times my throat was extremely dry or I had a headache and wanted to take medication, but I abstained. I thought about Imam Husain (Pbuh) and his followers (peace be upon them) who were martyred thirsty in the desert of Karbala. I thought about the homeless and poverty-stricken people who did not know when or if they will have another meal.

Fasting helps one gain nearness to God, spiritual awareness, kindness and generosity for others, humility, and thankfulness. Because it is such a spiritual time, I look forward to the holy month of Ramadan each year. During the last ten days of Ramadan I feel sad that it will be over so soon.

* Living as a Muslim has not been that difficult because I have unconsciously been doing that fora number of years. My husband does help make living as a Muslim easier because he is Muslim as well and it's easier to do something when you have company. The only times I find religious practices difficult is around Christmastime when everything is Christianized, and I have to explain why I don't celebrate. The other time is during Ramadan when people ask what I want for lunch and I tell them I am fasting. It's difficult for people to understand, and I know that they judge me for it, but I will not compromise my beliefs fora sandwich from a fast-food restaurant.

 

The fourth pillar of Islam is the paying of a charity tax or tithing called zakat, and it is to be paid during Ramadan along with the fasting and worship.

The fifth and last pillar of Islam is hajj, a pilgrimage to Mecca for those who have the financial means. Opportunity for the pilgrimage occurs once each year and is the largest gathering of people in the world as 2 to 2 1/2 million gather from every continent of the globe to fulfill this obligation.

The Muslim Lifestyle in American Society

Islam addresses all aspects of life including personal morality, politics, and commerce; Islam is a way of life. Very important is the concept of Ummah, the community in which God's will is attainable only through a society built around Islamic principles. Much time and discussion is spent on interpreting in action the prescribed manner of living. The women learn quickly what it is they are expected to do and make decisions of how they will implement those expectations in their lives.

The extreme change in dress is probably the hardest shift for the parents and relatives to accept when a daughter becomes Muslim. It seems to us such an extreme statement about what they have chosen. For some of the women themselves, choosing to dress modestly and cover themselves has been readily accepted and incorporated in their practice; for others it has been very difficult to do.

The passage from the Qur'an that prescribes the covering describes it this way:

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent and to draw their veils over their bosoms and not to display their adornment except to their husbands, or

their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their wives, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you maybesuccessful."-S24, A3~31

Various Islamic countries have traditions on how to wear the cover. The basic tradition is loose-fitting clothes (not "see through" or defining the figure) which cover all but the face and hands. In some countries the veil over the face is worn also. Some wear flowery bright colors or beads and fringe; others wear only the more serious plain colors such as white, beige, brown, green, blue, black, or soft prints. Those in the know are often able to tell what country a woman is from by the way she covers. Not all women who are Muslim cover their hair with a scarf, but most do try to dress modestly.

* Wearing hijab was easy, but people were always asking me if I had some sort of disease. They seemed to assume that I had lost my hair and I was covering up my baldness. Then after I explained about the religious reasons and significance of wearing hijab, they would say, "You mean I can never see your beautiful hair again?" It was as if my personal choice of practicing my own religion was taking away one of their pleasures or privileges and they did not approve of that! They missed the point.

* I have worked out with my parents and other family members my choice to be Muslim. The main point of stress has been hijab or the Islamic dress. I think this is a constant reminder and embarrassment for them. If I were

Muslim but did not cover, I think they could accept it more readily. My hope is that they will understand Islam and like it on their own, not just because of me.

* Taking on Islamic religious practices wasn't hard once I did it for a while. Wearing hijab was the one that took the most getting used to, both for me and for others around me. I lived in a very small town and I got strange looks there, and several people asked me about it. But in our larger university town, the majority of people are educated about it and see women wearing hijab around town. I started wearing hijab in winter, so it wasn't difficult until summertime. Many people wear a scarf or hat in winter, but when summer came and I was still wearing a scarf I did stand out in a crowd. But Islam is not about blending in or "when in America, do as the Americans do." It is about standing up for what you believe and what you know is right, even if others do not, whether Muslim or non-Muslim.

* It has been easy for me to take on the religious practices. I had no trouble accepting and enjoying the benefits of praying, fasting, and giving up alcohol. My biggest battle is the head covering, the scarf nobody knows this though, since I accept and submit to the covering for modesty reasons.

* Six months after Shahada, I observed my first Ramadan. I had been contemplating the issue of hijab, but was too scared to take that step before. I had already begun to dress more modestly, and usually wore a scarf over my shoulders. When I visited [a Muslim] sister, she told me, "All you have to do is move that scarf from your shoulders to your head, and you'll be Islamically dressed." At first I didn't feel ready to wear hijab because I didn't feel strong enough in my faith. I understood the reason for it, agreed with it, and admired the women who did wear it. They looked so pious and noble. But I knew that if I wore it, people would ask me a lot of questions, and I didn't feel ready or strong enough to deal with that.

This changed as Ramadan approached, and' on the first day of Ramadan, I woke up and went to class in hijab. Alhamdulillah, I haven't taken it off since. Something about Ramadan helped me to feel strong and proud to be a Muslim. I felt ready to answer any body's questions.

* Covering was a very gradual change. I went from jeans to skirts and long sleeve shirts or blazers. Then I decided I would wear the scarf and long clothes or coat after I had my first child. It was very hard to cope with the looks and questions about the way I dressed (i.e., long sleeves and jackets in the summertime) while I was working. That's why I waited to fully cover. Once I did start fully covering I was very uncomfortable and felt so different from everyone else that I almost took it off: as if to prove to everyone (even those I didn't know) that I was still the same person as before. But I kept it on and eventually got used to it. Now I get mad at people who stare at me or make fun of me, but that only makes me want to wear it more. I've been covering for three years.

Featured throughout an entire issue of Islamic Sisters International (January 1994) was the topic, "Hijab-Definition and Discrimination.'? Many of the women described the discrimination that occurred in the workplace when interviewing for jobs. Some had difficulty dealing with the jeers and name-calling experienced in various public places. One stated that she feels the non-Muslim women are more offended by the head cover than the non-Muslim men. In these articles the women encouraged covering as very necessary and in some cases the word "obligation" was used.

The editor of the magazine encouraged all sisters to actively participate to end discrimination from unfair business practices to exclude, deny, or otherwise hide those sisters who cover, and work for the rights they are guaranteed while living in the United States or Canada. A date was set and the sisters were encouraged to wear halal Islamic clothing to their places of work or regular activities, to write or call their senator, to call or write local and national news to protest unfair misrepresentation, and to arrange peaceful picket lines in appropriate places.

The women wearing hijab express not only what a meaningful experience it is for them but also the frustration they sometimes have. Many women converts are choosing to wear the cover in this Western setting, are establishing Muslim homes, and are concerned that the rights extended to them as women in the Islamic faith are actualized in their lives. Some of their stories in regard to these areas are included here.

* The best Islamic right by far is the hijab. I have a right to be looked at as a moral woman, not a piece of meat to be gawked at. People look at my eyes when talking to me. I am treated like a lady as a general rule. There are always those who jump at a chance to condemn. I would be more encouraged to go into the work force if it weren't for those few people ignorant of Islam.

* We live in a very strong and close-knit Muslim community. I graduated magna cum laude last year with a degree in child development. I have had several jobs, from secretary to preschool teacher, with no problems about my hijab. I'm active in the community and still do volunteer work.

* Due to hijab, there are a lot of prejudices out there. I definitely can't hold a very public "meeting people" job.

* The only obstacles that have been placed in my way as a Muslim woman have not been from Muslims or Islam, but from the society in which we live. One often feels like a fish swimming upstream in America, like constantly explaining hijab. I have been denied jobs because of my hijab and have been otherwise openly discriminated against. Nonetheless, I am truly grateful for hijab. It is liberating in a sense that pro-ERA women will never know. I feel honored to represent Islam in such a powerful way as to be recognized as Muslim whenever I venture out.

* My perception of being a woman has changed. I no longer find freedom in tight pants and miniskirts, but through hijab and modesty. I no longer believe men and women have to be the same to be equal and that there are roles each are better suited for. At the same time, we all (men and women) have our own unique, individual talents and need to have the opportunity to nourish them.

* I wish non-Muslims understood that hijab is only a small part of being a Muslim woman. It is too bad that the majority tend to "judge the book (or woman) by the cover(ing)"-meaning they measure Islam by a style of dress. In a society which claims to envision a "freer" means of life for women, the American male attitude toward women actually puts women way down by promoting the sex-symbol image. Hijab removes the possibilities for men to "ogle" and demands they view women as people rather than objects. Only one woman in the survey indicated that she wears the veil, covering everything but the eyes. At present she lives in a Muslim country, but did veil in the United States prior to moving.

* I cover from head to toe-gloves, socks, and the whole package. I wear a hair cover under a cloak, and I wear a veil. I anticipated so many problems, yet I can hardly believe how easy it has been. I even veiled for 3 1/2 years in the United States with no trouble. So many people learned about Islam because they were curious about the veil. It is a bit hot, but when the temperature gets over 100 degrees everything is hot to wear! I greatly prefer this, dress to anything. Especially people who understand the reason for the veil and dress have been supportive and respectful. I get special treatment everywhere I go here and in the States. Old Muslim ladies will do anything for me. I get great seats on planes, people let me in front of them in lines, and sometimes merchants here in this country will give me free gifts or free service.

Dawah is the word used in place of the Christian terms "witnessing" or "evangelism." The scarf is often an opportunity for a woman to tell about Islam because she is more apt to be questioned than a man. As one woman wrote, "You can see us coming a mile away but [an observer] can't really tell if a man is a Muslim or not."

* I have learned and am still learning to put into practice what is allowed and forbidden. It was difficult to get used to covering, but now I am proud to be a Muslim and I find dawah, at the proper times, is my passageway. I just have to ignore the prejudices or use them as even more of a reason to put my beliefs into practice.

In addition to dress, acceptable social behaviors are encouraged that reflect the Islamic culture as interpreted by tradition in various Muslim countries and influenced by family and personal preferences. In general, modesty in behavior as well as in dress is important between men and women. Men and women should be modest in their conversations with one another, being cautious to avoid flirtations and personal innuendoes. Men and women who are not related according to the previous Qur'anic passage attempt to avoid being alone with one another.

When they become Muslim, many of the women choose to stay home rather than be employed, especially if they have children others are still in the work force or attending universities. Each woman has to gain a "sense" of how she will present herself as a Muslim woman in her situation.

* One of the major changes I made was to be careful how I talked to men I needed to do it more maturely-not talk about personal things.

* I cannot greet my male friends as I used to or even stop for an impromptu talk. My husband's co-workers and friends are off-limits for even a chat by the car while I'm waiting for him to come out of work.

* The religious practices are not hard, but some of the Western ideas are hard to break and can pull you from religious duties. For example, a Muslim should not be rude, but polite and firm in belief I find it hard to be a good Muslim when I want to tell people (who are rude) to get lost. Also Western TV can be contradictory to Islamic values. This is the hardest for me.

* During my first Ramadan, we gathered together and the Shaikh [elder or spiritual leader] would give talks. These talks were so pure and meaningful that they stood in stark contrast to the ugliness I found happening among the people. And this is a reality I find limiting our Islamic practice: How come it is so difficult for people to really practice and live up to the model of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)? Maybe I have to realize that Americans' morals have already so much deteriorated. It is possible I need to thank my parents for such a solid and basic upbringing, where corruption and jealousy, anger and hatred, impatience and other human ugliness weren't present.

* When I became Muslim, I had guidelines to express the beliefs I already had. Yet these changes were tough. It was hard to excuse myself from class or work to pray. When my clothing changed (covering my hair) I lost a lot of friends. I also had to explain to male friends that it was no longer appropriate for me to see them. I've also been shunned by a lot of relatives who tell my family I'll burn in hell!

I became cleaner and quieter the further I went into the religion. I became highly disciplined. I had not intended to marry before I was Muslim, yet I quickly became a wife, then a mother!

Islam has provided a framework that has allowed me to express the beliefs I already had such as modesty, kindness, love. It also led me to happiness through marriage and the births of two children. Before Islam, I had no desire to have my own family since I hated kids!

No matter how bad things get, I have something I can hang on to. Never do I feel alone or desperate because I know Allah is close, and I know he is testing me to make me stronger. The sisterhood and brotherhood of Muslims has been a comfort to me in hard times.

The role of the women in the home is of utmost importance in Islam, and the emphasis on the rearing of children and the care of the home is taken very seriously by Muslim women. Often the children are home schooled by the mothers. Some of the parents of Muslim women converts are upset when their daughters choose to stay home. They are afraid it might be an indication of the woman not having an opportunity to reach her full potential. This concern is especially strong if the parents have paid for their daughter's education.

After marrying a Muslim (or even after becoming acquainted with a Muslim), a woman learns quickly not to serve pork or anything that contains pork products to a Muslim. Often by the time the women convert, they have decided to eat only "halal" meats and foods. Halal means "slaughtered according to Islamic law." This takes a lot of dedication on the part of the couple because halal meats are not readily available unless they live in a heavily populated Muslim community, and the meats are usually more expensive. The women often learn to cook many of the foods that their husbands appreciate from their own heritage.

* To follow the Qur'anic injunction of eating only Muslim slaughtered-approved meats was easy. I knew the Bible prohibited eating pork and wondered why Christians did not follow that law. Eating meat that my husband slaughtered according to Islamic law gave me a sense of pride that he was following God's ordinance and that God was pleased with us. We shared our meat with other Muslims, and I was glad that we had the opportunity to help them obey God's law.

* A point of stress in visiting my family is our commitment to eating only Muslim slaughtered halal meats. We are reluctant to eat anything, so we bring our own food. Even though we explained the Islamic method of slaughter, they were uncomfortable with us bringing our own food. They thought this was another rejection, as if their food was not good enough for us or was unclean. However, when they come to visit in our home, they eat whatever I cook, and we seem to have a much happier and less stressful time.

These are just a few of the many changes women converts make as they develop and grow in their faith journey as a Muslim. They seem to help and support each other through the initial journey. Although the basic Islamic precepts are shared by all Muslim sects, there are some differences in how people choose to fit these practices into their daily lives. The extent to which they choose to follow and interpret these precepts differs from person to person and culture to culture.

* Living in Egypt and Saudi Arabia has influenced me greatly, and has resulted in my really knowing that the manifestation of Islam varies from place to place, but the most important thing is the way we personally live out the religion and to make sure we always approach it with good intentions.

Muslims feel it is important to do the "right thing" as far as they can determine what that is. They view the religion of Islam as a comprehensive system dealing with every facet of life including the life of the individual, the society, and the government. The women have turned to many sources of information in order to better understand the system of beliefs they have chosen to represent. The women do not seem to have followed blindly, but they have spent time learning and seeking out answers in order to practice more knowledgeably.

* I learned to live as a Muslim both through books and the help of other Muslims. Good books describe the things that can and can't be eaten, how one should dress, the things one should not have in one's house, etc. A new Muslim has to get this information through books and other Muslims because it takes a lot of time to learn all of it from the Qur'an and had is. I did study the Qur'an and hadith; I didn't just take things blindly. If someone told me something, sometimes I wanted to look it up to see for myself if I would make that same conclusion after reading about it.

* My Saudi mend was the one who taught me how to live as a Muslim. She showed me how to pray, how to make wudu (cleansing or ablution), and how to socialize with other Muslims. She answered every Islamic question I had, from marriage and children to hadith and Fiqh (science of Islamic law). I obtained (through the Saudi embassy) an English-Arabic version of the Holy Qur'an as well as books on a variety of Islamic subjects. Islam as a lifestyle was easy for me to adopt because my previous lifestyle was not very extravagant. The Arabic language was probably the most difficult thing for me. Praying, fasting, wearing hijab, etc., all came easy for me.

* I really did not have to learn to live as a Muslim because I already had the lifestyle of a Muslim. I dressed morally, I did not eat pork, I did not drink, and I tried to do right by my fellow human beings. To be quite honest, no one had to help me to be a Muslim. I learned on my own. The only things I had to change were my holidays and worship day. This was quite easy for me because when I converted to Islam it was a way of life for me. In fact, I enjoy the fact that Islam makes it simple to be a practicing Muslim.

+1 learned to live as a Muslim from other Muslims. I was blessed to meet two very knowledgeable couples who taught both my husband and me the things that every Muslim needs to know. Although many things in Islam are not complicated, living in a non-Islamic society makes them seem as such. I also feel that it depends on what area of the country one lives. In most of the larger cities, especially in the North, there are large Muslim communities. This makes it a bit easier to find items such as halal meats. Also the non-Muslims are familiar with Muslim dress and some Islamic practices; therefore, they seem to be more tolerant and less awestruck by our presence. I find that having close ties with other Muslim families makes it easier to deal with the difficulties.

Rights of Muslim Women

The Arabia of the seventh century was a setting in which the killing of baby daughters was common and women had few rights and were often mistreated. The Qur'an gave women the rights to hold title to property, to receive inheritance, to receive a dowry, to have a say in whom she chooses to marry, to be supported and protected by her husband, and other rights too numerous to list.

Dr. Riffat Hassan, a woman and Muslim theologian at the University of Louisville states, "I remember how stricken I felt when I first began to see the glaring discrepancy between Islamic ideals and Muslim practice insofar as women are concerned."? She believes women in other countries are largely unaware of the differences, for despite the important roles played by the wives of Muhammad, "the Islamic tradition has remained rigidly patriarchal . . . prohibiting the growth of scholarship among women particularly in the realm of religious thought. ...""Thus it follows that Muslim women have not been cognizant of how their human "rights have been violated by their male-dominated and male centered society ... [unaware] that Islam has given women more rights than any other religious tradition."

American-born women who have converted to Islam also have the challenge of feminist leadership as they interpret the rights that have been extended to women through the Qur'an. American women who have not been exposed to an Islamic culture have a unique opportunity to see the rights of women Islamically interpreted and practiced in the American setting. These ideas are affecting and, hopefully, changing incorrect customs which have developed in Muslim societies. The women suggest both frustration and gratefulness for such customs in the Muslim community, the Ummah.

* Sometimes I feel Muslim women aren't given a chance to speak out about their opinions or views on things within the Muslim community. They are put in the back and hidden away. If I go to a lecture not in a masjid, I like to sit near the front, so I can see and hear the speaker. I am dressed Islamically, so why should I sit in the back just because someone thinks men cannot control themselves? Men need to take the responsibility for their own actions. Women cannot always be hidden so men won't think: bad thoughts. We should dress and act so as not to promote that, but I still will not live my life locked up in a cage, or in the back row at a university lecture. I can live my life with respect and dignity, and live as a Muslim woman at the same time.

"As a Muslim woman I would like to see women take a more active role in society-be more outspoken instead of the silent shadows Western cultures see Muslim women as. Islam gives Muslim women many rights. One of the main reasons for hijab is to enter society. Muslim women should play an active part in being role models for children.

The move to recognize the rights ofMus1imwomen is of great concern, and these rights are treasured by Muslim women in the United States and Canada. They believe that Allah, through the Qur'an 1400 years ago, set in place rights for women that have never, at any time, been equaled in the spiritual, intellectual, political, social, and economic areas of life. Some of these rights are reflected in the following in regard to maintenance and kindly treatment, education and a career, and being regarded as an equal with man before God but with roles that are somewhat different in their responsibilities.

* I have the same rights as other women. 1 have the freedom of education and career if I desire. I think actually Muslim women are treated with a lot of respect. I've been married eleven years and my husband has never shown disrespect for me or tried to take away my freedoms of opinion or choice. We have argued about them but he hasn't tried to stop them.

* My husband has been kind and generous to me and allowed me to make decisions in our home. I clean and decorate our home as I wish. I make it a place of peacefulness and rest-a place where all family members can relax and soothe their anxieties and forget their worries of the outside world. When I wanted to leave my teacher/ counselor position before our first child was born, he willingly accepted my decision to stay at home and never asked me to keep working to help pay our expenses.

* One area I am grateful for in my position as a married woman is that I prefer to let someone else make the big decisions. My husband is the leader of my household, but as I tell my kids, I'm vice president. Also I am treated with respect as well as dignity. I like it.

* As a Muslim woman, I have the right to worship, to choose a good husband, and to lead a clean life. I have the right to be protected and not abused. I am grateful for a husband who puts his wife first into consideration, a husband who asks for and respects my opinion. I don't feel any real disadvantages as a Muslim woman. The only thing perhaps is in regard to finding outside employment. Sometimes, it's hard to find a job (especially with non-Muslims).

* Definitely I appreciate the right not to be hassled by men for dates, meetings, and obnoxious clichés and lines. I also am experiencing more freedom in my choices pertaining to my occupation, money I earned, and personal limitations according to my needs-not someone else's.

* My becoming a Muslim gave me the courage to stand up against ignorance and to take charge of and responsibility for my life. My life as a Christian was continually filled with dilemma after dilemma in which I hoped my father or someone else would save me. My outlook on life was analogous to the faith. Unfortunately, such an immature outlook not only hinders personal growth but also affects self-esteem. Islam gave me the self-esteem to be able to make great decisions without being afraid to carry through with them.

* A Muslima [a Muslim woman] is not responsible for her support at all. The husband has to totally shoulder her support, including clothing and Islamic learning materials. Any money she gets, either child support from previous marriage, working, her Mahar [dowry], her inheritance, or anything like that is hers to save or spend as she sees fit (as long as it falls under Islamic guidelines for halal). Her husband cannot touch any of it! If she is working, she can contribute to the household if she chooses, because she is taking time away from the house to work. The rest is hers and hers alone. My husband didn't realize this when we got married. When I explained it to him, he said that men sure got the short end of the stick! That is true! If I get a few dollars from somewhere, I can spend it on a new dress, or jewelry, or save it; but my husband first has to pay all the household bills before he can spend any money on himself. Men have a lot of responsibility. I do worry about the house hold, but it is not my responsibility to meet the bills every month. My husband knows that it is his total responsibility.

* The one right I have that's very important to me is not having to work and getting the chance to be with my daughter! It also is nice to have my husband provide for meat my standards and above without really asking. Nice home, clothes, the basics, and more. I feel the home is for the wife and mother, and I love it. I'm very, very grateful to have this opportunity, and it wouldn't be possible if I weren't married. There are no areas not open to me as a Muslim woman.

What They Left Behind

The journey in the Muslim path required the women to leave behind many of the things they grew up with. The women respondents didn't indicate that they felt any great sense of loss or grief for what they had left behind in converting to Islam. Most responded with statements of thanksgiving that they had found this way of living, but some admitted having to adjust to giving up something previously enjoyed.

* I feel no loss or grief in the life I "left behind." I don't feel I left anything behind, only grew into what I wished to become. I don't know what I would have become, but I know I prayed for deliverance from the way I was seeing my life go and the manner of the society.

* The hardest change was when I started eating only Islamic meat, not being able to eat the main courses at my family's dinners. At the time I converted, we had to kill our own sheep and chicken at the beginning and it was a pam.

"There is nothing in my life before my husband or before Islam that I miss. I have always wanted a logical solution to my religious questions and the ability to research in peace. Religion is an institution of faith and obedience to the intangible, and I have found something in Islam that has touched my heart and feels as natural as breathing.

"There are no areas that I left behind that I feel a loss or grief for. The only thing that I grieve for is my family to come to Islam.

"I still feel grief and loss-although not as much as before--during Christmas time. I loved to sing the carols and feel the "magic." I've always been deeply committed to God (except those few years in college) and am very spiritual.

"The only thing I miss about Christianity is decorations and giving and receiving gifts at Christmas. That's it.

"The area that I feel a loss is being able to go swimming because I love to swim and my husband doesn't know how. I want my son to know how much fun swimming can be. Now I don't see how I can help him learn except for a stranger doing it.

"I miss the air going through my hair because I wear hijab. But I tell myself to keep a strong faith and that Allah will reward me.

 

* I can't think of anything I left behind that I miss. I was alreadytired ofthe party scene and longed to get married and have babies, just before finding Islam. I could see my previous life was headed downward. I was a bit vain, however, and it took years to adopt hijab.

* I sure would like a bacon sandwich once in a while!

* What is painful to have left behind is the very close-knit and rich network of meaningful and lively friendships.

* I wasn't really sad to leave anything behind except maybe sausage pizza, but have since found a place in our area that serves halal beef sausage pizza.

* I have worn hijab ever since converting. Although I recognize its protection, I have found myself wanting to run out to the grocery store without it. I miss the beach, swimming, and basking in the sun.

* Connecting all of my life to God is the most meaningful part of Islam to me. I need and love the discipline of prayer and all required of Islam. I now love hijab, and I'm grateful that God saved me from where I was headed and where so many of my friends are stuck.

The woman converting to Islam takes on a whole new way of relating to the world. She is accepting a set of practices that, although they may vary with cultural interpretations, are basically universal. She has the task of blending her Western upbringing with that of her husband's culture, that of the Islamic practices, and that of the Urnmah that is her support group. All this she must do plus rebuilding relationships with her family of origin.

The woman converting to Islam will have the responsibility to help interpret the rights extended to Muslim women in the settings in which they are, whether moving to countries with majority Muslim population or associating with new converts or immigrants to America. They will serve as mentors to teach new converts and to extend friendship to new Muslim immigrants. For American-born converts, jihad becomes a personal reality as they struggle to live out their commitment to God by living and practicing Islamic principles.

 

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